


Toddlers & Tiaras

by MajorEnglishEsquire



Series: Prompt Responses [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Reality TV, Television Watching
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-27
Updated: 2013-10-27
Packaged: 2017-12-30 14:11:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1019580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MajorEnglishEsquire/pseuds/MajorEnglishEsquire
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><a href="http://clotpoleofthelord.tumblr.com/">clotpoleofthelord</a>: "Cas discovers reality TV. Dean is horrified but gets sucked in too. Sam and Kevin roll their eyes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Toddlers & Tiaras

Dean has escalated from annoyed to honestly concerned. He's seen a glimpse of this before. A Castiel who could control himself, but chose not to. Too sunk into the pain and mundanity of everyday human life to care that drugs were destroying him and easy sex was making him complacent. Too distracted to see the trap that another Dean, a harsher, colder, future Dean, was leading him into against Lucifer.

In 2014 it was because the angels left him here.

Right now, it's because Sam left on the Discovery Channel.

Dean finally sits down with Castiel when Captain Phil Harris dies. He's marathoning all of _Deadliest Catch_ and Captain Phil's illness was really hard on Cas. The next season starts with a memorial to the Captain and Cas just loses it, sobbing into the couch, inconsolable.

Dean turns off the tv and tosses the remote aside and Cas falls forward into him, crying his fucking heart out. "Jake and Josh! They must feel so lost!" he babbles and cries, cries and babbles about boats and the sea and pills and pots and fireworks and about someone buried on the side of a mountain and then he cries _harder_. Dean scoots forward and pulls Cas entirely into his lap and rocks him, lets him blow his nose in his over shirt. He ends up wiping away snot with his own sweater, anyway, when the crying finally calms down.

At some point Kevin wanders in and sees them tangled, Dean gently hushing Cas, and he very carefully backs out without saying a word.

Cas wants the remote back and Dean whispers, "C'mon, don't do this to yourself, Cas. Leave it for the day." But Castiel insists, curling tighter into Dean and sniffling through the rest of the show.

And the most recent three seasons.

When pressed, Dean admits to admiring the Hansen brothers. Cas likes Captain Keith the best even when he's the grouchiest old buzzard on the show. "He simply cares for everyone that deeply. He reminds me a bit of... well. Bobby."

Dean refuses to go back and watch the first six seasons with him again, but when they pass re-runs of it, he won't change the channel.

They watch _Gold Rush_ for a while and Dean won't stop using his crazy ole' coot voice to shout, "[THERE'S HOT STUFF IN THIS GLORY HOLE!](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W_fSc3uuaxU)"

Kevin loses his shit every single time. Absolutely falls down on the floor laughing.

He's the one who introduces them to _World's Worst Tenants_ which is fucking outrageous. A few episodes in, Cas is enchanted with the insane shit that goes on in peoples' homes. But then Sam points out that they have a dungeon with a tenant of their own and that also, "Guys. This show it totally staged."

Kevin shows Cas how to Wikipedia it and, yeah, the episodes are re-enactments.

He doesn't pout about it, he just turns it off. He wants REAL reality shows.

Kevin and Dean just kind of _look_ at each other.

Like, _riiiight._

Cas is introduced to the original reality program, _COPS_. From there he branches out to episodes of _Jail_ and _Bait Car_. Sam thinks that if _COPS_ gets a chance, _The Real World_ ought to get a chance. "Scripted," Dean and Kevin shout at the same time. And then they go on this epic anti- _Jersey Shore_ rant which comes to an abrupt halt when Sam steps in.

"Wait. Wait, wait. When did _either one of you_ ever have time to sit and watch fucking _Jersey Shore_ enough to hate it this much?"

Silence. Guilty, guilty silence.

But Cas and Kevin turn on MTV and get sucked into _Catfish_ together eventually.

TLC is poison. There's not a single show on that fucking channel that Dean can stand for a full ten minutes. They watch a _Long Island Medium_ marathon and every so often Dean has to walk away and go lie down on the floor in the hall and just stare at the ceiling. He gives no explanation for this and Cas is concerned but every time Sam comes by, he just steps over Dean as if he were a wayward stack of books. So maybe that's normal.

_Long Island Medium_ gets Cas interested in shows that claim to enter their field. _Ghost Hunters_ , _Ghost Adventures_ , _The Dead Files_. Dean does a Zak Bagans impression with his arms out to the side, barely moving as he marches, calling everyone 'bro.' Sam introduces Kevin to the GhostFacers website and Dean makes popcorn while all four of them catch up on the newest YouTube vids of them shouting into the dark, and scrambling for the exits on the few occasions when they run into a real haunting.

They've improved, but not by much. Every time they post a video mentioning the Winchesters by name with tips for hunting _real_ ghosts, Sam gets YouTube to take it down, so their information isn't disseminated very well.

They never learn. If they'd just _not mention them_ , Sam would leave them alone.

Dean gets caught watching _Chopped_ and Cas says, "Oh, but there's another show I think you'd like, then!" So they delve into _Top Chef_. Sam doesn't complain. Dean gets so many ideas. His seriously primo cooking goes gourmet really quick.

Sam _does_ complain when someone leaves _The Real Housewives of Miami_ on television. And then, when he walks in on Dean, Cas, and Kevin watching _My Big Fat American Gypsy Wedding_ , he demands that they leave for a hunt _at once_. He finds a seriously shitty motel that doesn't even offer cable. Everyone's stuck with the local news for a week and a half.

When they get back, Dean puts a little more effort into replacing the trash in Castiel's media diet with good shit, like _The Wire_ and _BSG_. Kevin has all the recent _Doctor Who_ series on his computer, and Dean is gonna allow it because Sam even perked up at the mention. But unless someone gives Cas a cultural agenda, he's always switching to _The Peoples' Court_ or old seasons of the fucking _Bachelor_.

Dean won't say it out loud, and he certainly won't _allow it_ when anyone else is in the house, but there are also still times when he curls up close to Cas and lets him get emotional over stupid reality shows. So maybe he has to send Sam and Kevin out to a dorky museum or encourage them to go check out a new movie, and that way he can park on the couch with Cas and put on that _Say Yes to the Dress_ marathon. Castiel cries when the mothers and brides do. It's unbearably sweet. Cas watches tv. Dean watches Cas.


End file.
